


I Fucked Up

by Stand_of_Fish



Category: Power (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Cocaine, Domestic Violence, Drug Use, F/M, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Nightmares, Strangulation, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:47:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21567106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stand_of_Fish/pseuds/Stand_of_Fish
Summary: Tommy Egan is struggling after what he's done to Hollie.
Relationships: Tommy Eagan, Tommy Egan/Holly Weaver
Kudos: 5





	I Fucked Up

**Author's Note:**

> I'm new to watching Power and this short work was quickly done after watching this specific episode so please forgive any grammatical errors found and give me some slack y'all. This work also contains triggers such as Graphic DV(Domestic Violence), alcoholism and drug use. If that offends, I urge you to turn away now. If you choose to move forward despite the warnings, that’s on you.

He had been struggling to sleep for days after Hollie’s death. Taking more and more coke, tossing back more Jack. Even going so far as to bring other women to his home, use them up and toss them out right after.

He even gave up the puppy he bought for Hollie, afraid he’d see her and hear her voice, mind going back to the hallucinations he was faced with after getting high.

Tonight, Tommy had taken a combination of sleeping pills, coke and Rum. Something new, something stronger.

Head hitting the pillow as his body heavily followed, Tommy, felt his eyes roll up as his lids dragged together, forcing his warm body to feel as if he were floating. Floating in darkness untold.

The whispers and singing came along with a voice he didn’t seem to recognize.

He could feel himself following that sound, which wasn’t the best but was filled with pain and loneliness, turning into angry shrieks and cursing. The darkness and the voice turned into a face, a pale body with red hair. Hollie. Face red and attitude full of piss. 

He could feel himself yelling and screaming at Hollie, so, so angry that she had betrayed his trust and turned on Ghost, setting him up to be hit behind his back. It reminded him of all the times he told Hollie not to make moves without him and to let him know everything. She was too reckless, too wild and full of excitement at something she was supposed to be easy about. He tried his best to ease her into everything but she just had to fuck everything up. 

But that’s what he loved about her. His Hollie. That’s what made him lose control himself.

He grabbed her and slammed her against the wall, begging her to shut the fuck up. Silently pleading that she would so he could calm down and figure out what to do. Gripping her neck, he cried. He was just so mad. He never wanted to be angry with his Hollie.

He keeled over, almost retching as she kneed him hard.

Falling over, he heard Hollie’s biting, hateful words of how he would never be anything without Ghost. He could never be anything without Ghost. Their relationship was unnatural.

Their relationship was never meant to be taken in that context. He loved Ghost like a brother, like family despite being pissed off at him and distrusting. It was too much to explain to new people coming into the fold and Hollie, no matter how much he tried telling her. She would never understand.

It was blinding and wild. Seething and seeking. So blissfully unaware of what he’d do next.

His body moved on it’s own, the words spilling from his mouth as he watched his hands wrap around Hollie’s neck for the last time. 

It was like his soul separated from his body as he watched in horror.

Hollie looked at Tommy as if he were a completely different person, incapable of doing what he did. 

She scratched at his face, weakly struggling against her boyfriend. Who was supposed to love her, take care of her, teach her the ways of his line of work. They were supposed to be a team.

She clawed his arms, trying to get him to stop. Just because she was tall, didn’t mean she had any nasty surprises other than that kick she gave Tommy. Maybe this was it. Maybe this really was.

It all happened so fast as time moved forward.

He slammed so hard into himself, he physically jumped.

He watched blearily as Hollie fell forward onto the floor, body motionless as her eyes glazed over. There was nothing but lifeless, stormy clouds in her face. Her chest failed to rise and fall.

“Hollie! Hollie baby- stop playing! Wake up!”

Tommy shook Hollie as he pulled her head into his lap. Urging her to wake up.

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no….”

Tommy screamed.

Soft hands reached up to stroke his face, singing and whispering comforting words for Tommy to look at her.

He shook hard and shook his head.

“I killed you. I killed you… Hollie, I fucked up.” He rocked himself back and forth.

“Tommy! You killed me. You killed us, your child! That’s on you Tommy. It always will be.”

Us was all he could hear in his mind. All that repeated. 

Everything turned black as white swirled in between. His breaths came faster and shorter. “Li- lies.”

Tommy screamed despite the loss of breath.

He was wild-eyed and sweating harshly, his spot on the bed wet under him. His spot on the bed under him wet and hot. The sweat on his back turning cold. His breathing, short and still fast as he struggled for his phone on the night table next to him. He knocked over his pill bottle and Jack, breaking the bottle into pieces and spilling the brown liquid everywhere. 

He found it as he snatched it up and called Ghost, who was on speed dial. 

The phone rung and rung until it went to voicemail. An overly eager Ghost stating his name as St. Patrick.

He called Tasha instead, praying that she answered. He needed to know.

After the first three rings, she picked up. Irritated that he’d called her in the middle of the night.

“Tommy? What is it and why are you calling so damn late?”

“Cut the shit Tasha. I need you to answer me honestly or so help me God… Was Hollie pregnant?

A long pause spanned into considerable silence as Tommy’s heart felt like it was squeezing painfully. 

“I told her to tell you Tommy. I didn’t want to keep it from you but I respected Hollie’s choice to do it on her own. You know that Tommy. And what do you mean by was? Tommy? Tommy?!”

He couldn’t breathe at all. The pain in his chest burning so badly at the news, he could hardly keep up anymore as the phone slipped from his fingers, falling into his lap. Tommy couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer.

A silent apology was sent into the air as he felt his lungs and throat constrict. Froth and air bubbled up from his throat, choking him and cutting off any chance of ever regaining consciousness that he knew. 

Vaguely, he could hear Tasha screaming into the phone for him, cursing and mentioning that she needed to get a hold of Ghost. 

Darkness encroached upon Tommy’s vision. A knowing and a sense of angry peace as he lie there. 

The life of Tommy Egan ended where he thought it truly begun as banging could be heard throughout his loft.

Ghost yelling through the door, yelling at him to open it up.

He did his best to break it down, finally managing to get to Tommy but only too late.

**Author's Note:**

> For everyone who’s ever watched Power or has been through any type of toxic/abusive relationship. I pray that you all, women and men, are able to find the strength to leave or escape for yours and your family's sake and know that there are resources out there. I love y'all and wish for nothing more than your safety, livelihoods and healing.
> 
> Please contact the National Domestic Abuse Hotline at 1−800−799−7233 or TTY 1−800−787−3224, if you or someone you know is currently in any unsafe situation.


End file.
